Stop shy: 7 proven ways to meet a guy
Human relations are the most important and interesting component of society. The ability to build relationships with people will ensure success in absolutely any field and, of course, help in love.
Which of the men did not dream about the girl of his dreams? Probably, such a dream was, is and will be for everyone.
The path to the dream is close on the one hand, but quite complicated and thorny. You can meet a friend of your whole life almost everywhere - leaving your home, in a store, at work, in a nightclub, restaurant, during your morning jogging at school or even in the elevator. But only a small percentage of guys use this moment when they see her.
Yes, they feel that this girl really can become one and really want to get to know her, but this does not happen. Why? The answer is both simple and incomprehensible at the same time - fear interferes. Social attitudes, limiting prejudices, acquired complexes seriously complicate the process of solving social problems.
For what reasons are men shy?
- Phobias and installations.
Various phobias are acquired, conditioned reflexes. They are laid at the very initial stage of the life path - in early childhood. In particular, this happens when the child goes for a walk on the street for the first time alone, without parents, grandparents. Before going out, many parents will worry and give recommendations to the child - to be careful and attentive.
On the one hand, the recommendations are correct and appropriate, but on the other, they set up a small child against the world outside the walls of his house. There, it seems to him, a hostile and dangerous world, so he is asked to be careful and attentive. Warnings of the elders becomes an installation for years to come.
Exit Comfort Zone.
Each person in his life has a certain comfort zone. This is a state of mind in which he feels good. But life around is constantly changing and requires a person to take new actions, new achievements. Often you need to get out of a comfortable swamp and start rocking your life. Many people find themselves not ready for this and over and over again replenish the list of unrealized opportunities.
To get acquainted with girls, many men have to change the established traditions of life, fight stereotypes and patterns, begin to develop.
A normal situation for men who do not have experience with girls. Guys are afraid not so much of the approach to the girl as the process of communication itself. Often, girls have completely different interests in comparison with men, views on the world as a whole and on private, everyday situations. They have a different mindset, less pragmatic, more emotional. Gestures and facial expressions sometimes differ in meaning from gestures and facial expressions of men.
To know the language and worldview of women, to feel comfortable in their society and to give them the pleasure of communication by themselves, you do not need to be an expert in the field of NLP. It is enough to practice regularly and spend a lot of time with them. But if men do not have such an opportunity, then, of course, they will experience fear of meeting a girl they like.
Fear of social disapproval.
This kind of fear is the strangest and most severe virus of the human soul. Those who suffer from it feel constrained, squeezed in a vice in society. Shackled men constantly make excuses, do not believe in their own success, do not set ambitious goals and feel guilty.
Criticism is capable of destroying this person, driving him into an angle of an impersonal existence even more. Acquaintance with women is understood by such men as a challenge to society, a way out of the general mass.
Fear of a negative reaction of the girl.
Making many important decisions in a man’s life depends on his self-confidence. They are ready to perform many tasks with their eyes closed, but up to certain boundaries. Often, before approaching a girl, a man begins to scroll through her possible reaction in his head.
The reaction can be different, one of the options is the negative response of the girl. A woman of dreams can insult, laugh or humiliate a man.
Video about how to get acquainted with a girl if you are shy?
How to weaken the destructive power of fear?
"How to find a girl if I'm shy? I'm afraid to get acquainted with girls ... ”Are you afraid to get acquainted? How to get to know a girl if you are shy and afraid? How to overcome the fear of dating? Let's try to figure it out.
- Overcoming through practice.
We need a sense of fear as a defense against danger. But sometimes it happens that the hyperprotection of self-preservation instincts simply interferes with living and building a life to one’s own taste. Agreeing with fears when meeting girls is only possible through overcoming.
Many approaches can lead to psychological fatigue if you take it too seriously and experience a bad moment. After the debacle, you do not need to console yourself - it is experience and practical training that gives strength and knowledge.
A great helper in the fight against fears when meeting a girl is positive thinking. Any events occurring during the process can and should be turned into the mainstream of positive.
For example, a girl’s rude answer when addressing her, immediately demonstrates unpleasant character traits - arrogance, narcissism and bad manners. It is wonderful when a man understands what the object of his warm feelings is in life.
Understanding Your Own Value.
Awareness of their masculine qualities is a very important resource in overcoming the fear of girls. Every man will always find a circle of admirers of his beauty, mind and talents.
As soon as a guy feels and uses his own charisma, he will become confident and relaxed.
Non-standard moves attracted women at all times, there are many examples - just open the masterpieces of classical literature. You can start small - ask non-trivial questions, shock you with an interesting compliment. If you invent something more, absolutely unexpected and bright - there is every chance to win the heart of the most impregnable beauty.
Meeting with your beloved woman - A beautiful, bright, rich and most emotional event in the life of any man. It is no secret to anyone that the ability to communicate with women, to feel comfortable in their society is only possible for strong, successful men.
But there is simply nothing complicated about this. The ability to communicate and sociality are inherent in us by nature itself and only our own limiting prejudices and complexes prevent us from discovering these abilities in ourselves. It is important to recognize them, stop living on the machine and make your feelings work.
Method number 1: "Superman, rather!"
He stands nearby and thinks about the news that he reads on his mobile, and you stand nearby and build a whole computing chain, trying to figure out how to attract attention? Ask him to help you.
Any methods will help here: a stuck scarf in the jacket of the jacket, a too tightly twisted bottle cap. In the end, you can ask him to deal with the most complicated application on your phone. Guys incredibly enjoy being supermen! And though you don’t believe in fairy tales, but let him unscrew the unfortunate tight plug and become your personal hero.
After the feat is complete, and you, as a real princess, give the hero a magic smile and a flirty look, do not let him go. Unobtrusively inform that you will be glad to thank him for his help by treating him to some delicious food. Well, or let him treat you (because once a hero is a hero to the end) ...
Method number 2: "Oops! I'm so clumsy! ”
One awkward movement - and on the floor is your favorite scarf, or pen, or the latest issue of Elle Girl? A guy passing by, as a real man should be, cannot leave it just like that. At that moment, when he will return your little thing to you, you can establish not only visual, but also tactile contact: lightly touch his hand, as if by chance. As they say, in dating all means are good.
Thank him and start talking about the thing that he just picked up. This will be a good start to the conversation, especially if you first met. Try to ask the maximum number of questions: Does he often help girls? Or maybe he himself is clumsy and everything falls out of his hands? Do not forget to smile :)
How to stop being shy, withdrawn, insecure
Come on in order. Where is the root of fear?
Public opinion and condemnation.
Mom said it was necessary to do it, but it wasn’t necessary, don’t go to people, don’t shout, don’t communicate with strangers, don’t disturb your aunt.
Attention! All these tips were collected and thrown into the trash. Their task was to pacify and reassure you. It’s a pity that the mother did not tell how to glue the girl on the street and interest her. As we have already decided, modesty = shame.
You just need to take
You ask how to become sociable and not be shy? Yes Easy! But you need to become arrogant, go to everyone, no matter how beautiful she was there and how important she did not look. Just shaving fire! You begin to approach the girls and say hi, I liked this and that in you, I invite you to drink coffee then. And approaches, approaches, approaches - many approaches!
You say: I'm embarrassed to chat with girls! Then here is the task for you!
Well, for the wimps, just walk and give greetings! This is a classic pickup truck. For starters, it’s useful, but sucks. It’s better to go to Kui several times than to run so stupid. Hi boy damn)
Think more without thinking. The longer you change, the more difficult it is to approach.
Doubts grow like a snowball, don't let them talk to you. Just go.
Cool chip, give your friend 5 thousand banknote and let it become it if you do not come up, here you can no longer bathe, it really works. You begin to come up quickly, and even run.
Do you want a secret, how to relax and stop being shy? You go to the Arbat, well, or to a visited place in your city, undress and naked from start to finish!
No, wait. This is a joke. You’re shy and you won’t do that for sure. Such chips are only for men with eggs. Let inadequate do it, but we choose work on ourselves!
Work on yourself is a magic pill in seduction. The rest is a hat.
And do not believe in empty mirages. Grabbing passers-by girls by ass - you won’t get better! Stupidity and fearlessness is the lot of desperate, wounded and wretched! People often ask me how to stop being humble. Be impudent, what is the question? Grandpa scolds? Beat? This is another fear, then go to martial arts and to the rocking chair. This is an important tip.
The player takes the prey, but does not wait for him to free himself, if you don’t want to be afraid of the strangers - grow physically. Grow as a person, too, maybe then other people's girls will not be needed. It may be needed, who knows) Do you know why guys are afraid of beautiful girls?
Because of the same unworthy complexes. Guys think that they do not reach it. Well, where do I freak before her. In this scenario, you're right, man. Who needs you like that? Judge for yourself, I will not reassure.
I’ll better explain: when you come up to a beautiful girl with the thought that she is unbelievably beautiful, you begin to behave the same way as others - lick her asshole. Remember, we are all human beings and almost all have two arms and two legs. The girl is also a man, like you, also goes to the toilet and burps sometimes. You do not love yourself uncle, and now take and love. Go to the girl and try. It will not work, well, there will be motivation to become even better. Every day, just get better than not the formula for success.
Method number 3: "Did you order coffee?"
You often meet in one coffee shop. He always sits alone, and on his desk flaunts a laptop, doped coffee and a cooled donut. Even if the coffee shop has free tables, you can still go up to it and ask: “Is it free here?” And be sure to buy two coffees! Give him the second one and explain it by the fact that you bought coffee for a friend, but she did not come, so you really wanted to share this wonderful drink with him. The real start to a romantic movie!
During the time that you will sit together, you will have the opportunity to chat with him. If he turns out to be cute, then be sure to ask him to find you on VKontakte. And if he is a gloomy silent man, and it seems to you completely different from what you imagined he was, then boldly take the donut and go away!
How to confess to a girl in love if you are shy
And why, why, and what it gives. If you ask yourself this question, then the time has not come yet, and you can ruin everything by revealing your feelings. Understand - this obliges her.
Obliges to say the same thing, to cherish and cherish you and, supposedly, have to go towards the wedding. And if she does not need it? She has not decided yet. Maybe she just likes the way you trad her ....
No need to rush to make mistakes. You still have time to make them)
She will love more for actions than for words. A man builds relationships, makes her appreciate and respect him. Gives care and attention, a joint vacation is also good for relationships. An important note, did not mean - drag gifts and more. This also does not give nichrome, and sometimes vice versa.
When the time comes for a declaration of love, there simply will not be such a question. If you still stayed, then it is too early to open your mouth. A friend of mine married a girl and didn’t tell her that. Left in case she catches him on a betrayal, she’ll directly take him off another girl. He said - this is his second life, in reserve. Ahaha. Preserved)))
Anton Inozemtsev in the video below will tell you how to get rid of social pressure:
- Stay calm! It is the excitement that makes you lose the conversation. Breathe evenly, as if with a friend.
- Some excitement is normal, accept it. Everyone has it!
- Try to be more often surrounded by girls. Get used to them. Once you look, hmm the same people))
- Do not talk much about yourself - it is quite possible for her to give a shit. Speak more about her, everyone likes it. And about myself only the best))
- Accept the fact that she may not like you. Think to yourself: “Yes, and FSU. th ”and live your peace of mind, send everything ON is a whole philosophy, man))
- Said garbage. Just laughed and drove, do not go in cycles if screwed up. It happens to everyone. Yes, and KEEP!
- Remember, as if communication did not go through, wherever you set up. EXPERIENCE ALREADY RECEIVED! Nothing is done in vain. Everything falls into your piggy bank of knowledge and tomorrow you will be better!
- By the way, do exactly what you fear more often. This is the direction of growth. Overcoming, exaltation - the philosophy of the samurai!
- Prefer live communication to communication in instant messengers and social services. networks. If of course you want to learn how to talk with a girl. Sitting by the screen you won’t learn. Carry your ZhO in real communication!
- DO NOT HESITATE TO TRAIN AT THE MIRROR! Work out a smile, control facial expressions, eyes. This was not done only by fools. Go and smile at yourself!
- Come up with cool stories about your life and let them be based on real facts about you. You will always have something to say. If you procure them with a dozen.
- Sports and martial arts are the shortest way to overcome fear and self-doubt.
- Do you know how to stop cheating yourself bad thoughts? Get your heads up good and positive! When the head is not loaded with a task, it starts to twist all garbage just so as not to sit idle. And instead, I can’t, repeat to myself more often: I CAN ALL! I'LL TRY! I just do what I must!
Method number 4: “Letter of recognition”
If all of the above methods are not for you, and you do not have the courage to start a conversation, then do not despair. The solution to this "problem" is even for such a shy person like you. You just need a napkin (or whatever), on which you can write an original and funny note for the subject of your sigh.
If you are in the same cafe, then you can ask the waiter to put a note on his table. And if you study together, then put a piece of paper next to his things or throw in his portfolio. Do not forget to sign a phone number or a link to your VKontakte page.
Method number 5: "Without his opinion, nowhere"
Do you know what guys just love? When they ask for advice. Imagine what a plus it is for self-esteem: from the many guys around, you choose him in order to ask something! A lot of options! If you are studying with the same guy in one institution, then ask him to help you deal with the formula. And if you saw a nice guy in a shopping center, then ask him to help with the choice of a dress or a gift for dad. When the time comes to say goodbye, ask him to find you on social networks.
Method number 6: "Oh, I'm sorry, I was mistaken"
Suppose you noticed a nice guy in a crowded place and the time you have is exactly a few seconds. Then, without hesitation, run up to him and hug him! You can come up behind and close your eyes with your hands with the phrase “Guess who?”, Or you can unceremoniously attack with the words “Hello, Zhenek!”
While the guy is in a state of affect, you overwrite him that you forgot your glasses at home and confused him with one of your friends. Well, then, try not to lose contact and continue the conversation with the phrases “Oh, you are so alike, maybe you are his brother?” Or “Is your name Zhenya accidentally?” If the guy is not timid and you liked him, success is guaranteed.
What to do if you are shy?
Do not expect a simple answer from me: you will have to seriously work. Moreover, even daily practice will not help, you can stupidly molest dozens of girls, and all of them will make you sick. You need to be thoroughly prepared for the transition to such a style of behavior, because the idea “I'm embarrassed to get acquainted with girls” arose in your head not by chance and not today. In short, it’s important to find out why you are shy.
Search for a reason
Pickupers have their own terminology, for example, “opener” is an excellent first phrase for dating, and we will talk about this more. But now it’s more important for you to understand that you are a “stopper”, what prevents to get to know each other ?
These are your fears and complexes, or rather, what really causes them. If such barriers between you and the universe are eliminated, then meeting girls will be easy and easier to live. However, at the first stage it is even difficult for others to understand what the problem is.
But I will clothe your task a little, and I will give, as an example, a fairly common trick. First of all, remember all the cases of your unsuccessful attempts to make acquaintances, and analyze at what points you were most often burned, when you started to worry when communicating and you got all kinds of bodily clamps. I’ll say right away that not everyone can do this analysis on their own, but it's up to you to try. It is necessary to eliminate at least the most obvious problems.
In this case, here is what you can do if you are embarrassed to meet a girl. The self-analysis mentioned above should be combined with practice, because if your attempts to understand the cause are unsuccessful, then you generally have little experience . And therefore it is time to go and "fill up cones." That is, every day you try to get acquainted several times and write down in a notebook not the moments when you felt awkward.
Rehearsal in the head
One poet once successfully said that "there is no prison worse than in the head." And this means that all complexes and fears are most often invented by us and can be destroyed by us. Therefore, we will move on to the next stage of what to do if you are shy. And this stage I call mental rehearsal. But in order to pass it, you must have at least a drop of imagination.
This is also a kind of introspection. You just don’t need to leave home for this experience. And you just need to try to scroll in your head the scenes of your conversation with this or that girl: imagine how you will behave, what you will say, what you will be wearing. Maximum detail is important here. So you can imagine your dialogue with a pretty neighbor, for example, whom you don’t know how to meet, because you are shy. Almost everyone can recall at least one such object of “lust,” which seems inaccessible to him.
Another option for such a mental analysis is to try to imagine your acquaintances in various places. Moreover the main thing in all this is to understand what exactly confuses you , and then it will help you answer the question, how to meet a pretty girl if you are shy.
I am embarrassed to get acquainted with girls: what to do?
When the main problems are clarified, you need to work through each and try to fix it. For example, you realized that you cannot take her number because you are afraid that she will not give it to you. And he won’t give it because he will think that he is in a hurry, which means that you are somehow strange or even preoccupied. Or maybe you are no match for her.
In fact, the very fact that you understand what the problem is is already half the solution, because it will make you doubt the reality of this state of affairs. Further you should try to change your negative attitude to a positive perception of reality. Only in this way will you eventually solve the problem of how to get to know a girl if you are shy.
Dating for shy
In general, there are now many ways to get to know each other, even despite all their fears, for example, via the Internet or in dating clubs. The first option is now generally the most popular among young people. However if you get to know through a social network, it’s important to work out your profile well : Leave only the best photographs by which you can judge that you are an interesting and versatile personality, remove banal and hackneyed phrases from the profile description. But this is a separate conversation.
Basic rules for a shy guy to meet
In the end, I summarize everything that was said above and, as it were, summarize.
- The first thing to do if you are embarrassed about girls is to get ready, change your “profile” for the better. To do this, do not dress like a major. Just girls love tidy and cultured guys, and therefore dress accordingly, watch your hair, clean shoes and nails, for example, correct speech.
- Work on your complexes, think about why, in fact, I am shy about girls. Most often, the reasons are the most commonplace, for example, you think that you are not worthy of her or just afraid that she will send you away. In the first case, you need to understand that she is the same person as you, no worse and no better, but most likely she has the same complexes as yours. And she also wants to meet, but for a girl it is much more difficult, because she a priori believes that the guy should be the first to approach. In the second case, experience will help you: well, send it away and so what? Maybe she is in a bad mood today, is she married or is thinking about her pregnancy. There will always be another, more worthy of you.
- Find an interesting and non-banal phrase for dating, examples that are full on the net,
- During the conversation, try to relax and behave confidently, and not to tremble and mumble,
- Remember that the problem of “what to do if I feel shy” is relevant not only for you, but also for a good half of the male lonely population, and it is it that makes us lonely.
Sometimes they ask me questions: what to do if my girlfriend is shy about me or what to do if she is shy about walking with a girl, but this, as they say, is a problem from another opera. You need to analyze your relationship, the importance of each partner. Perhaps you just need to change something in your behavior, but sometimes it’s easier to just leave because one partner subconsciously understands that you are different people.
If you want to learn even more secrets to seduce girls subscribe to my VK page .
How to overcome fear when meeting girls?
To find ways and means of getting to know a girl, if you are shy, psychologists advise first to analyze why there is a feeling of shyness. Only a fruitful analysis of his behavior will provide the man with an understanding of how to overcome all the barriers in himself on the way to his soulmate. You can overcome the feeling of embarrassment in front of a girl as follows:
- A little fear may be present, most importantly, do not panic. Most young people are afraid of just the first conversation, then communication will go on smoothly, if you carefully think through everything.
- A man needs to remember that women think and perceive things differently, succumbing to emotions rather than intelligence and prudence.
- The intellect and versatility of men in different fields of knowledge will help to get acquainted with a girl and continue communicating with her. At first, the dialogue will be superficial and laid-back, not bearing a serious and deep meaning.
- To become bolder and more confident in yourself, you need to be more in female society. This will allow them to understand their logic, preferences, behavior and stereotypes. You can gain experience with classmates, female colleagues, girls friends.
In order to overcome shyness and fears in himself, a man needs to understand what moments do not suit him in himself, which is the root of self-doubt. There is only one way to get rid of fears - to do this, after which it will come to understand that a man is able to cope with such tasks. Self-doubt gradually collapses if you engage in self-development and self-improvement.
How to get to know a girl if you are shy?
It is not worth it to meet a girl if you are afraid and embarrassed to approach her. First you need to get rid of these barriers so that further communication is productive and promising. Psychologists give important advice on how a man to maintain external calmness and equanimity, if you are shy and tremble inside with excitement. It is necessary to refuse to scroll in the head the negative outcome of the acquaintance, as thoughts materialize. If the girl rejected the guy’s offer, you need not to show that such an answer somehow hooked him.
Another important piece of advice regarding what to do if you are afraid to meet a girl is the fear of public censure. It is this feeling that often inhibits people in making decisions and taking any actions. To get rid of the constraint and fear of public censure, you must understand that:
- you need to be prepared for the girl’s negative answer, adequately accepting defeat,
- you should not look for reasons in yourself if the girl is not ready for acquaintance and communication, most likely she is not free, not ready for relationships or she has no time
- if the situation got out of control, and the girl refuses to communicate, you need to translate everything as a joke and not perceive the refusal as a personal defeat.
The man already stood out and showed his strengths thereby, when he took the first step towards the girl. And in order to increase self-esteem, a man needs to leave the comfort zone, do things that are not characteristic of him, find new hobbies and interests. Thanks to such actions, you can understand that nothing is impossible in life, you just have to try.
Acquaintance on the Internet
The easiest way to resolve the issue of what to do if you are afraid to meet a girl is the Internet. Thanks to social networks, a man will not only be able to get information about a girl he likes by studying her profile and photos, but he will also find many ways how to start correspondence with her. It remains only to fulfill a few recommendations from experts, namely:
- To inspire confidence in a girl, before meeting you need to fill out a questionnaire, telling as much as possible about yourself. You can also add some high-quality photos and add funny, humorous notes.
- Now you can search for a girl, paying attention to the similarity of hobbies and interests. As soon as a suitable girl was found, you need to write to her, casting away a feeling of shyness and self-doubt. It must be remembered that communication on the Internet does not entail any risks.
- How to start correspondence? You need to start a correspondence with a greeting, then take an interest in her mood, whether she has time to talk. Communication should be unobtrusive and easy, do not immediately indicate plans for it and the desire to translate communication into real life.
- If communication began and lasts several days, so as not to prolong the virtual friendship, you can ask her for a phone number. The reason may be the desire to hear her voice, which is considered by her for a compliment. In a conversation on the phone, you need to praise her beautiful voice, laughter, sociability, but without exaggeration, so that it does not look like a guy is trying to please with flattery.
- During correspondence or calls, the girl may not answer for a long time. In such a situation, one should not panic and torment oneself with excitement, perhaps she has important matters in her studies or at work. It’s not worth calling, overwhelming her with a bunch of messages, saying how much the man missed her.
How to meet a girl on the street, if you are shy?
Communication on the Internet is appropriate when a man is in a free search, and is not interested in a particular person. But if a guy met a girl he liked on the street, then you need to act immediately so as not to lose a chance. To do this, it is worth foreseeing several important points in advance to make a positive impression on the girl.
Despite the fact that girls love with their ears, not their eyes, that is, they do not choose men according to external data, they still have some fad. Namely:
- clothes - a man should dress stylishly, harmoniously combining garments according to different events and individual characteristics, clothes should be clean and ironed,
- footwear - it is also selected according to the style of clothes, for women it is important that the man’s shoes are perfectly polished,
- hygiene - mandatory fresh breath, a snow-white smile, cleanliness and pleasant aroma,
- hair - The accuracy of a man is expressed in salvage vegetation on the face and head.
Also, a man needs to monitor the condition of nails and skin in order to look neat and fresh, without acne and redness. Even if nature did not endow him with ideal facial features and a figure, a correctly selected wardrobe and external neatness will create a positive and pleasant impression about him in the eyes of a woman.
Choosing the right place
Even the most shy and uncommunicative guy can prepare for the first conversation with a girl if he selects the ideal place for this. The main condition of the first date is that it should be remembered by young people, and the meeting place is much more important than the date of the meeting.
Psychologists call a list of the most original places for dates, namely:
- amusement park - here you can sit in a cozy cafe talking, then ride the rides, causing violent positive emotions in the girl, then have fun at competitions or dance,
- sport Club - suitable for young people who are fond of sports, and the guy will demonstrate to the girl his interest in her hobby,
- picnic - a date can be comfortable for both, if you spend it outdoors, having prepared a romantic picnic,
- park or zoo - in such places you can freely communicate, admire the beauty of nature, as well as get pleasant emotions and impressions,
- a restaurant - This is the most favorite place for dates for girls, a man only needs to organize a cozy atmosphere, flowers and delicious treats.
The first meeting will be memorable if it causes pleasant emotions and joy in the girl. You should not choose clubs, a bar, a cinema or gatherings in a company with friends, since in such an environment it will be difficult to communicate due to distracting factors.
Positive attitude and smile
To meet a girl who you like, you need to not only in clean and properly selected clothes, shoes, but also in a good mood. Before this, you need to maximize yourself on a positive outcome of the date, assure yourself that everything will go well. You need not to focus on your excitement, as the first meeting will be alarming in the first place for the girl.
A smile and a good sense of humor are the best weapons against fears, constraint and discomfort. In order for the girl to be free, and the guy could like her, you can tell funny cases from life, be interested in her childhood, as this topic helps to relax. During the conversation, you need to show more interest to the girl, look in the eyes, ask questions about her life, dreams, interests.
If you're afraid to get to know each other, make sure you get noticed
In order for the girl herself to notice the guy, he needs to use several effective techniques from the pickup masters. In their opinion, the fair sex will not be able to pass by a man who has several qualities:
- appearance - the stylist will help in the selection of outfits,
- focus on details - it can be a stylish tie, a hat, a brand perfume or original glasses,
- non-verbal gestures - the energy of self-confidence, leadership, should come from a man
- meta message - we are talking about facial expressions, emotional message, expressed in a confident straight look, smile, posture, external calm.
Do not try not to seem like who the man really is. But all your worries, fears, and embarrassment must be hidden away from women's eyes, as the girls want to see next to them a strong man, self-confident, able to control himself in any situation.
Phrases to help you meet
In deciding how to get to know a girl, if you are shy and afraid of rejection, a man needs to think over the first phrases for initiating a conversation. As a rule, many men in the arsenal have several homemade pieces to attract female attention, for example:
- "Girl, I am captivated by your beauty, I'm sorry, I couldn’t just pass by,"
- “Girl, tell me what time it is, I drowned in your bottomless eyes and lost track of time”,
- “Let me see you, with such external data you need a bodyguard.”
Sometimes you can be honest by telling a girl about how difficult it is for a man to get to know because of inexperience and a sense of constraint. This will be the first topic of conversation, moreover, girls are caring by nature, they like to help others. The main thing is that the first phrases in the conversation should not be commonplace, as they will push the girl away, and she will quickly lose interest in the man.
General rules of conduct
Additional tips will help a man finally get rid of shyness, fears and self-doubt. Psychologists advise listening to the following instructions:
- a man needs to be polite and gallant towards a girl, open the door in front of her, give a hand, not use rude words and jargon,
- the first conversation should be easy and laid-back, no need to delve into complex and dramatic topics, dump all the facts from your life onto the girl,
- you need to communicate with a girl on topics that do not require specific knowledge and education,
- a man needs to be easier, not shine in front of a girl with sciences in which she is not strong,
- most of the dialogue should be devoted to the girl, since all the ladies love attention.
The first conversation should not be delayed for several hours, the tiresome dialogue is unlikely to motivate the girl not a second date. In the course of communication you need to keep a distance, not to put pressure on the girl, not to be intrusive and ingratiating in front of her.
If a guy, due to fears and constraint, does not dare to get acquainted with girls, he first needs to find the reasons for such behavior and self-doubt. Any fear can be eliminated if you do what you fear most. For this, the guy needs to make as many acquaintances as possible, communicate with the girls, surrounding himself with female society. Further, following the advice of psychologists, you need to improve and act.
Method number 7: "Hello, cowboy!"
This method works both on its own and in addition to the previous ones. “Do you believe in love from the first or third glance? I’m trying to calculate how many times I’ll pass you by, ”after such a phrase he will definitely draw attention to you. This is not a call to start searching the Internet for the best phrases for dating (let’s leave this destiny for ridiculous pick-ups), but it’s certainly possible to greet a guy! Imagine what an ideal acquaintance would look like, and then act.
Try to overcome shyness and take the first step. Just remember that if you take the first step, the second will depend on the guy. And if it does not follow, then, most likely, not one, even the best way, will help you. But don't be upset! Your prince is sure to be ♥
What not to do
Do not think that virtual communication will replace the living. Yes, correspondence, networking, is inevitable in our time, but sooner or later you will want to meet, and then what?
No need to use alcohol and other psychoactive drugs. They are bad mediators, they will put you on the bandwagon, carry all kinds of nonsense, and in the end they will leave, leaving poisoning, a hangover and a bad reputation. Work on yourself involves a sober head.
Do not try to copy media personalities. They don’t do themselves either, and you probably don’t have millions for a crowd of image makers. The road will be overcome by a walker Even in small steps. Good luck.
Polina Glinskaya, psychologist, methodologist of the Kaliningrad Regional Public Organization "Local Community Development Center" Strength of People ".
What you need to do before you approach the girl
If you want your acquaintance with any girl to be successful, then you must necessarily prepare before you approach her. After all, if you approach a girl without preparation, then it is likely that your acquaintance will end in nothing. And no matter what goals you pursue from meeting a girl, you need to prepare in any case.
In preparation for meeting any girl there is nothing complicated. So do not be afraid of it. It’s enough to follow a few simple tips that will help you overcome fear and give you confidence. Thanks to this, it will be much easier for you to approach any beauty.
1. Appearance. If you believe the numerous polls, then most girls appreciate the guys sense of humor, charisma and masculinity. However, all these qualities can manifest themselves only with time. Therefore, every girl who meets a young man, first of all, evaluates his appearance. And this is not surprising, since only this quality initially “floats on the surface”. Therefore, for a start, ladies consider a man, and only after that decide how they should behave further.
Every man who wants to be successful in getting to know girls should take care of his appearance. What is noteworthy, attention needs to be paid to all the little things. It is imperative to monitor the cleanliness of both clothing and the appearance of shoes. Particular attention should be paid to shoes, because many representatives of the beautiful half of humanity primarily pay attention to it.
The men's hairstyle deserves no less attention. It can be absolutely any, but at the same time it should be accurate. It is a myth that girls love men tousled on their heads. In addition, we must not forget about the purity of the hair. After all, ladies pay attention to this. The same goes for beards. Although most girls like the facial hair of a man, the beard should be trimmed neatly.
2. Freshness of breath. If you want to meet a girl in a cafe or another place, then before you approach your chosen one, you must make sure that your breath is fresh. No one likes talking to someone who smells badly. Therefore, no matter how good you look and what pleasant things you would not say to the girl, it will be unpleasant for her to talk to you if you have an unpleasant smell from your mouth. The girl may negotiate with you because of politeness, but she will not want to do this anymore. So first, check the freshness of your breath, and only after that go to get acquainted with the lady you like. In this case, the advertisement does not lie, saying that fresh breath adds confidence.
3. Words. Confidence in appearance and freshness of breathing is not enough to get to know a girl calmly. Therefore, the preparation process should include the selection of the right words for dating. After all, a lot depends on what you say to the girl. You need to think carefully about what you need to tell the lady in order to interest her. After all, if you do not pay due attention to this, then you can spoil everything from the first words.
4. Preparation of escape routes. Many guys are afraid to get acquainted with girls, because they do not know how to behave if she did not want to get acquainted. Moreover, this fear may be the main reason that a young man is afraid to approach a lady. Therefore, you need to work out the escape route in advance in case the girl refuses. For example, you can laugh it off and leave without feeling humiliated.
Causes of fear of dating
Even the most experienced guys, who have dozens of successful acquaintances, are sometimes afraid to go up to a girl they really like. And this is not surprising, because to feel fear in this situation is quite normal. Another thing is that some guys are constrained by this fear, while others are motivated. Therefore, each guy needs to learn how to minimize the negative impact of fear, so that he can easily approach any girl.
1. There are a large number of reasons that affect the appearance of fear in a guy. One of the most common causes is the exaltation of a girl in her own eyes. That is, the guy comes to the lady with thoughts that he does not correspond to her high level. It is this fear that explains the fact that most guys are suitable to meet only ordinary girls. Men are afraid of truly beautiful girls who look relentless. And even under the influence of alcohol, when almost all fears are dulled, not all men decide to approach such beauty queens. But quite often, these fears are completely unfounded.
2. Many guys can calmly start a conversation with a stranger, asking her any socially appropriate question, for example, asking her how to get to the metro. However, when it comes to dating with the aim of seducing a girl, many men fall into a stupor. Although there is no fundamental difference in this.
When a young man wants to approach a girl for the purpose of acquaintance or seduction, an internal dialogue begins in his head, the result of which is a far-fetched reason why it is not worth approaching a girl. The guy draws conclusions from the internal dialogue like this:
- the girl is busy and she does not have time to get acquainted,
- such a beautiful girl probably has a young man,
- such a beautiful girl needs only money,
- I have no time,
- I do not want to be ridiculed,
- I don’t know what to tell her to interest her,
- surely she came here with a man,
“I will look stupid and ridiculous if she refuses me.”
All these conclusions are contrived and have no basis for themselves. A guy comes to them only for the reason that he is afraid to meet a girl. Well, with the help of these conclusions, he wants to justify his fear.
3. Strong men are also afraid to get acquainted with girls. The fact is that they are constrained by the fear of rejection and ridicule. For any guy, a girl’s refusal can be a blow to pride. What can we say about strong men? For them, this refusal will be an infringement on their male ego.
How to overcome the fear of dating and become bolder?
1. No need to exalt the girl in their eyes. Even if the lady is really beautiful and looks inaccessible, you can be sure that she is the same as everyone else. Well, the thought of its inaccessibility is only in your head. You yourself have come up with this image, which now fetters your actions. So cast aside the idea that beautiful girls are inviolable, and boldly approach the most luxurious girl in a cafe, after making sure that she came without a companion. And even if you get a refusal, then the next time it will be much easier for you, because you have overcome your fear and approached a gorgeous woman.
2. Before you go to get acquainted with a girl, you do not need to conduct an internal dialogue for a long time, which can lead to the above conclusions. If you saw a pretty woman on the street or in a cafe whom you want to meet, then immediately drown out the internal dialogue and go to her. Such an instant decision will not allow fear to immediately bind you. In this case, take the lead.
3. In order to become more courageous and confident in communicating with representatives of the opposite sex, start smiling more at strangers. If a girl smiles at you in return, do not be afraid to say hello to her and ask how she is doing. There is nothing unusual or supernatural in this. Moreover, in Europe and the USA, such communication is commonplace. If you manage to start a conversation with a stranger, do not forget to take her phone number. You do not have to call this number. The main thing is to take it. The more numbers you can get, the better. After that, it will be much easier for you to start a conversation with the girls you like.
4. You can set aside an entire day to walk around the city and ask people for directions to the metro, library or store. However, asking questions is not necessary for everyone, but only for pretty girls. With this training you will understand that there is nothing difficult in talking with a beautiful lady.
During such a training, you do not need to try to get acquainted with the girls. Your task is only to speak with as many women as possible.
How easy is it to approach a girl and get to know her?
1. Some guys make excuses and say that they will meet the girl next time. However, this is a usual self-deception, since the next day everything will happen again. Men need to realize this moment that tomorrow nothing will change and they need to act today. Moreover, if you really liked the girl you saw on the street, in public transport or a shopping center, you need to act immediately. After all, it is likely that you do nothing, you will no longer see the girl. This is especially true for residents of large cities.
2. No need to put at the forefront the seduction of a girl. Just try and talk to her about abstract topics.
3. You can’t think too long about the starting phrase to start a conversation with a stranger. After all, the more you think about it, the greater fear will envelop you. It’s better to pre-prepare some funny and original phrases that you can use at any opportunity.
4. Understand that you are not losing anything.Even if the girl does not want to get acquainted, then there is no tragedy in this.
5. Relate to the process of meeting a girl easier. No need to cheat yourself and worry about the result of dating.
What to do if the girl did not want to get acquainted
1. No need to be upset about this. There are just a huge number of girls in the world. Therefore, one or two failures mean nothing.
2. There is no need to impose on a girl if she refused you. If you start to persuade her to give you a chance or start to ask a lady about the reasons for the refusal, then you will humiliate yourself, but you won’t achieve anything.
3. No need to be ashamed of the fact that the girl refused to meet you. After all, there was nothing shameful in your desire. Well, you cannot vouch for the result.
Common Mistakes and Misconceptions
1. Some guys are sure that if they look at the girl, smiling at her and showing their sympathy, then she herself will approach them.
2. There are men who are sure that before going to get acquainted with a girl, you must definitely drink, because alcohol reduces fear. However, this should never be done.
3. Many guys make a common mistake, starting a conversation with the commonplace phrase "Can I meet you?". This cliched tackle will certainly not interest the girl.
4. No need to immediately fill up the girl with compliments. One or two eulogies would be enough.